Cohabit = excuses
In the last 30 years, living with your boyfriend or girlfriend, went from a shameful sinful act, to the modern day “wisdom” of ‘try before you buy’. Some will say, “marriage is too expensive,” or “I don’t need a piece of paper to show that I am committed,” and “there is no gain to getting married,” Others go further and claim that marriage, “is a tool for the old fashioned cultural patriarchy that oppresses women!”
A full answer to this will come later, but for now let me answer some of these objections in the most concise way possible.
Try before you buy – is a trap
Kissing lots of frogs won’t find you a prince. It will give you a boat load of warts. People who sleep around and have sex outside of marriage with different people don’t come out of it okay, but rather scarred and blemished spiritually and mentally. This “so called wisdom” is dangerous, foolish and evil. Dangerous because it places you in the place of temptation. Paul tells us to, “Flee from sexual immorality.” (1 Cor. 6:18). It is Foolish because there is judgement for those who tempt others to sin. Jesus warns, “Woe to the world for temptations to sin! For it is necessary that temptations come, but woe to the one by whom the temptation comes” (Matt. 18:7). It is also evil, as we see God judging people, even unto death because of it. Paul reminds us in, 1 Corinthians 10:8, let us not commit sexual immorality, as some of them did, and in one day twenty-three thousand fell!
Marriage is too expensive – yet cheaper than a trolley of shopping at the Coop!
The average cost to get married legally is £120 - the same as a new pair of branded trainers! “What about the food, and the dress and the flowers,” she says. The celebration is nice to have, but if you are stuck for cash, prioritise that which is holy and pleasing to God over living in sin and seeking to entertain men. Go to church and you’ll find many people who can help you get a beautiful dress and delicious food for free!
I don’t need a piece of paper to show I am committed! - Tell that to your boss!
“Trust me bro, I’ll be there, and do the work!” will never replace a binding contract. A contract says that you have committed yourself to fulfilling the terms of that contract. It also means that your boss must pay you and provide adequate resources. He can’t kick you out without cause because he is bound by the terms of the contract signed. We take our work seriously but what about our relationships? You don’t live with your boss, you don’t have a house with him, you don’t love him in the same manner. The love to be had in a marriage, is a love that is committed to keeping your vows despite any circumstance. To refuse to partake in a public vow, before man and God, to love with the intention of a life long commitment, is simply to refuse to love that person at all.
There is no gain – I’ll give you 6
1. The gain is living in accordance with God’s will (1 Thess 4:3)
2. The gain is having a God-given helper or protector (Ecc 4:9-12)
3. The gain is companionship without temptation to sin (Gen 2:18)
4. The gain is the gift of sexual intimacy within the confines of marriage (Heb 13:4)
5. The gain is the right environment for children to grow in the Lord (Psa 127:3)
6. The gain is reflecting and experiencing the relationship between Christ and his bride - the church (Eph 5:25)
Old fashioned tool to oppresses women
Well, it is old! Marriage goes back to the garden of Eden. It was instituted by God before the fall, meaning that it is fundamentally good. Secondly, if you wanted to oppress women, a terrible plan would be to marry one and vow to have: one wife to love and hold; for better and for worse; for richer and for poorer; in sickness and in health; till death do you part; according to God’s holy law; in the presence of God. It would be a lot easier to take advantage of a woman apart from marriage.
Repent
Repentance is a change of mind about a situation or circumstance that leads to righteous action. To repent is to change your mind about Jesus and put your faith in Him, who is Lord of your life and Saviour of your soul. It also means to change your mind about sin - hating that which leads to death. If you love Christ, you will obey his commandments (John 14:15). A Christian is called to abide in Christ, and not to live in sin with another person who is not your spouse. I understand that some situations today are more complex, but the truth is still the truth and God’s template for the home is for our ultimate good and God’s glory.
1 Corinthians 7:2, But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.
